♪ ♪
>> John: WELCOME, WELCOME,
WELCOME TO LAST WEEK TONIGHT.
I'M JOHN OLIVER.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING
US.
AND WE BEGIN TONIGHT WITH THE
WHITE HOUSE: STILL A BEAUTIFUL
BUILDING DESPITE WHAT'S
CURRENTLY HAPPENING INSIDE IT.
IT'S NOT THE HOUSE'S FAULT.
HASHTAG #NotTheHousesFault.
WELL, ON FRIDAY, THERE WAS BIG
NEWS:
>> Anthony Mason: ANOTHER STAFF
SHAKE-UP AT THE WHITE HOUSE.
CHIEF STRATEGIST STEVE BANNON IS
OUT.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: YES, STEVE BANNON IS
GONE, PRESUMABLY TO SPEND MORE
TIME SUCKING HIS OWN COCK.
BUT HE LEAVES BEHIND A LEGACY
DEFINED BY QUASI-CONSTITUTIONAL
XENOPHOBIA, UNFULFILLED CAMPAIGN
PROMISES, AND A DEFINITIVE
ANSWER TO THE QUESTION, "WHAT
WOULD HAPPEN IF MARTIN SHEEN ATE
NOTHING BESIDES SEA-SALT FOR A
THOUSAND YEARS?"
AND WHILE SHOCKING, BANNON IS
JUST THE LATEST IN A STRING OF
RECENT DEPARTURES:
>> THIS PICTURE OF THE PRESIDENT
IN THE OVAL OFFICE WITH HIS TOP
ADVISORS TAKEN JUST DAYS AFTER
THE INAUGURATION.
NOW NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR
MICHAEL FLYNN, GONE.
PRESS SECRETARY SEAN SPICER,
GONE.
CHIEF OF STAFF REINCE PREIBUS,
GONE.
AND FINALLY TODAY, STEVE BANNON.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
>> John: WOW!
HE'S SURROUNDED BY FOUR WHITE
NOTHINGS AND MIKE PENCE!
SO, FIVE WHITE NOTHINGS!
BUT THE TRULY DEPRESSING THING
ABOUT BANNON'S DEPARTURE IS HOW
UTTERLY UNSATISFYING IT IS.
BECAUSE YES, ONE PANDERER TO
WHITE NATIONALISTS HAS LEFT THE
WHITE HOUSE.
THE PROBLEM IS, THE ONE HE WAS
WORKING FOR IS STILL THERE.
AND ON TUESDAY, TRUMP DOUBLED
DOWN ON HIS REMARKS ABOUT THE
GROUPS MARCHING IN
CHARLOTTESVILLE LAST WEEKEND:
>> Trump: NOT ALL THOSE PEOPLE
WERE NEO NAZIS, BELIEVE ME.
NOT ALL THOSE PEOPLE WERE WHITE
SUPREMACISTS BY ANY STRETCH.
YOU HAD SOME VERY BAD PEOPLE IN
THAT GROUP.
BUT YOU ALSO HAD PEOPLE THAT
WERE VERY FINE PEOPLE ON BOTH
SIDES.
[BOOS]
>> John: NO!
THERE WEREN'T!
BECAUSE IF YOU'RE MARCHING WITH
WHITE NATIONALISTS, YOU ARE - BY
DEFINITION - NOT A VERY FINE
PERSON.
IF MALALA YOUSAFZAI HAD TAKEN
PART IN THAT RALLY, YOU'D HAVE
TO SAY "OKAY: I GUESS MALALA
SUCKS NOW.
I'M CONFUSED, I DON'T KNOW WHY
SHE'S THERE, BUT MALALA
DEFINITELY SUCKS AND THAT'S THE
ONLY CONCLUSION YOU CAN DRAW."
NOW, THANKFULLY, CONDEMNATION OF
TRUMP CAME FAST -- SOMETIMES
FROM UNEXPECTED QUARTERS.
>> Reporter: A KEY WHITE HOUSE
ADVISORY COUNCIL OF POWERHOUSE
CEOS VOTING TO DISBAND.
MANY OF THOSE BUSINESS LEADERS,
DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS
SPEAKING OUT, LIKE THE CEO OF
CAMPBELL'S SOUP, SAYING "RACISM
AND MURDER ARE UNEQUIVOCALLY
REPREHENSIBLE AND ARE NOT
MORALLY EQUIVALENT TO ANYTHING
ELSE THAT HAPPENED IN
CHARLOTTESVILLE.
>> John: WOW.
WHEN YOU BECOME CEO OF
CAMPBELL'S SOUP, YOU DO NOT
EXPECT TO HAVE TO START YOUR
PUBLIC STATEMENTS WITH THE WORDS
"RACISM AND MURDER ARE
UNEQUIVOCALLY REPREHENSIBLE."
YOU EXPECT TO START THEM BY
SAYING, "YES, WE'RE VERY SORRY,
BUT AGAIN: YOU'RE THE ONE EATING
CLAM CHOWDER FROM A CAN."
MEANWHILE, COMMENTATORS WHO ARE
USUALLY IN TRUMP'S CORNER HAD A
TOUGH TIME DEFENDING HIS REMARKS
-- NONE TOUGHER THAN FOX NEWS'S
MELISSA FRANCIS.
>> Melissa Francis:HE DIDN'T SAY
THERE WERE VERY GOOD PEOPLE
AMONG NEO-NAZI PROTESTERS.
>> Marie Harf: "HE SAID THERE
WERE VERY GOOD PEOPLE ON THE
OTHER SIDE.
>> Melissa Francis: THERE ARE
PEOPLE THAT WERE OPPOSED TO THE
STATUES...
>> Marie Harf: IT WAS CLEAR WHAT
HE WAS TALKING ABOUT...
>> Melissa Francis: LOOK AT,
BUT...CAN I TELL YOU THIS?
I AM SO UNCOMFORTABLE HAVING
THIS CONVERSATION.
AND THAT'S WHAT THIS WOMAN SAID
BEFORE THIS, BECAUSE I KNOW
WHAT'S IN MY HEART.
AND I KNOW THAT I DON'T THINK
ANYONE IS DIFFERENT, BETTER, OR
WORSE BASED ON THE COLOR OF
THEIR SKIN, BUT I FEEL LIKE
THERE IS NOTHING ANY OF US CAN
SAY RIGHT NOW WITHOUT BEING
JUDGED.
>> John: WELL, HERE'S A TIP: IF
YOU'RE GETTING EMOTIONALLY
OVERWHELMED AND FEELING JUDGED,
FOR DEFENDING TRUMP IN HIS "NAZI
SYMPATHIZER" PHASE -- JUST STOP
FUCKING DOING IT.
IT'S THAT SIMPLE.
NO ONE IS MAKING YOU DO IT.
ALSO, AND I CAN'T STRESS THIS
ENOUGH, HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO
MAKE THIS ABOUT YOU?
IT WAS ALSO FASCINATING TO WATCH
TRUMP'S OWN PARTY TRY NOT TO
DEAL WITH WHAT HE SAID.
TAKE SENATE MAJORITY LEADER
MITCH MCCONNELL, WHOSE OFFICE
INITIALLY RESPONDED WITH A
STATEMENT THAT "HE HAD NO NEW
RESPONSE TO TRUMP'S NEWS
CONFERENCE."
ALTHOUGH BY WEDNESDAY, A NEW
RUMOR STARTED MAKING THE ROUNDS:
>> Reporter: SOURCES CLOSE TO
SENATE MAJORITY LEADER MITCH
MCCONNELL DESCRIBE HIM AS "VERY
CONCERNED AND VERY UPSET."
MCCONNELL'S OFFICE DENIES THAT.
>> John: YES, MITCH MCCONNELL
HAD THE MORAL COURAGE TO DENY
ANONYMOUS SOURCES WHO SAID HE
HAD SOME MORAL COURAGE.
"I WILL NOT STAND IDLY BY WHILE
PEOPLE DRAG MY NAME OUT OF THE
MUD!
LEAVE MY NAME IN THE MUD WHERE
IT BELONGS!"
OTHERS TRIED TO THREAD THE
NEEDLE, CONDEMNING THE NAZIS
WITHOUT EXPLICITLY MENTIONING
THE PRESIDENT.
PAUL RYAN, A MAN WHOSE SPINE RAN
AWAY FROM HOME TEN YEARS AGO AND
IS NOW LIVING ON A SPINE COMMUNE
IN NORTHERN VERMONT.
HE TWEETED THAT "WHITE SUPREMACY
IS REPULSIVE", BUT DIDN'T
MENTION TRUMP.
AND COME ON.
YOU CAN NAME HIM.
HE'S NOT VOLDEMORT.
HE'S JUST A TERRIFYING ENTITY
WHO VICIOUSLY ATTACKS HIS
ENEMIES, AND JUDGES PEOPLE BASED
ON HIS BIRTH RIGHT AND YOU KNOW
WHAT- I HEAR IT NOW.
I HEAR IT.
AND THAT'S NOT TO SAY NO
REPUBLICANS CONDEMNED HIM BY
NAME.
SOME DID.
>> Anchor: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT
JUST HOW MANY REPUBLICAN
LAWMAKERS HAVE CALLED THE
PRESIDENT OUT BY NAME OVER HIS
RESPONSE TO CHARLOTTESVILLE.
NOW, THIS IS REALLY ONLY A
HANDFUL OF THE ROUGHLY 300
REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS.
>> John: OH, THAT GRAPHIC WAS
ACTUALLY GENEROUS -- CNN
MISTAKENLY PADDED IT OUT WITH
JOHN KASICH, WHO ISN'T EVEN A
MEMBER OF CONGRESS, AND JEB
BUSH, WHO HOLDS NO GOVERNMENT
POSITION AT ALL.
HE'S CURRENTLY -- AND THIS IS
TRUE -- RUNNING HIS OWN
FROZEN YOGURT SHOP IN ORLANDO.
APPARENTLY, THEIR TROPICAL MANGO
FLAVOR IS...
FINE.
IT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE YOUR
LIFE.
IT'S FINE.
THE FACT IS, AFTER THE PRESIDENT
OF THE UNITED STATES IMPLIED
THAT GOOD PEOPLE WERE MARCHING
WITH NAZIS, THE OVERWHELMING
MAJORITY OF REPUBLICANS OPTED
NOT TO CONDEMN HIM.
BY OUR COUNT, OUT OF 292
REPUBLICAN MEMBERS OF CONGRESS,
ONLY AROUND 54 COULD BE BOTHERED
TO UNEQUIVOCALLY CONDEMN TRUMP
BY NAME.
THAT'S LESS THAN 20 PERCENT!
AND THE PROBLEM WITH NOT
MENTIONING HIM IS, THAT SUGGESTS
HE IS NOT A KEY PART OF THE
PROBLEM HERE.
SO IN THE WORDS OF THE POETS
BEYONCE AND THE OTHER ONES: "SAY
HIS NAME, SAY HIS NAME.
GO RIGHT ON TO FOX NEWS.
SAY DONALD I CONDEMN YOU.
IF YOU AIN'T RUNNIN' GAME."
SO ALTHOUGH THIS WEEK HAS BEEN
REPEATEDLY CALLED A TURNING
POINT, MUCH THOUGH I'D LOVE TO
BELIEVE THAT, I DON'T SEE IT.
BECAUSE EVERY DAY HAS FELT LIKE
A TURNING POINT.
WE'RE NOT SO MUCH TURNING
ANYMORE AS SPINNING.
WE'RE BASICALLY ON A CAROUSEL
THAT WON'T STOP, WE'VE ALL
VOMITED SO MUCH THERE'S NOTHING
LEFT TO THROW UP, AND THERE'S NO
WAY TO GET OFF, BECAUSE AN
UNSTABLE RACE-BAITING CARNY IS
OPERATING THE CONTROLS.
AND WE'RE PROBABLY GOING TO GO
THROUGH A LOT MORE BEFORE THE
REPUBLICANS EVER DECIDE TO DO
ANYTHING.
BECAUSE THE HARD TRUTH IS,
NOTHING IS REALLY GOING TO
CHANGE IN THE WHITE HOUSE UNTIL
ONE MORE PERSON IN THAT PHOTO
FINALLY GETS SHOWN THE DOOR.
AND NOW, THIS.
>> AND NOW, LOCAL NEWS ANSWERS
THE QUESTION, SHOULD YOU STARE
AT THE SUN?
SPEAK UP I KNOW IT'S BEEN PRETTY
WELL ESTABLISHED THAT YOU SHOULD
NEVER LOOK DIRECTLY AS THE SUN.
>> YOU'LL RISK PERMANENT EYE
DAMAGE IF YOU LOOK AT THE SUN
WITHOUT PROPER EYE PROTECTION.
>> PEERED THROUGH A DARK BEER
BOTTLE?
WRONG.
SPRAY PAINT GLASS?
DON'T DO IT.
>> NEVER, EVER, DO NOT LOOK AT
THE SUN LIKE THIS.
>> WE CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.
IT IS ALWAYS DANGEROUS TO LOOK
AT THE SUN.
>> YOU CANNOT LOOK AT THE SUN OR
ELSE WE'LL BE TAKING A TRIP TO
THE HOSPITAL.
>> YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO STARE
RIGHT AT THE SUN UNLESS YOU HATE
YOUR EYES.
>> BE WARNED, YOU COULD GO BLIND
>> YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GO BLIND
, BUT IT COULD CAUSE
SIGNIFICANT DAMAGE TO YOUR EYE
ACCORDING TO MY OPTOMETRIST.
>> THERE IS NO AMOUNT OF TIME IT
SAFE TO LOOK AT THE SUN.
>> IF YOU LOOK AT THE CENTER A
TELESCOPE YOU'LL LOSE YOUR I
PRETTY MUCH INSTANTLY.
>> DO NOT STARE AT THE SUN.
>> OBVIOUSLY DON'T STARE AT THE
SUN.
>> DON'T STARE AT THE SUN.
THAT'S THE LAST TIME I WANT US
THEY HAD, FOLKS.
>> DO NOT LOOK AT THE SUN.
>> DESPITE ALL WARNINGS,
EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN TALKING
ABOUT A YEAR, YOU'RE GOING TO
LOOK STRAIGHT INTO THE SUN?
>> I'M AFRAID I AM, YES.
>> John: MOVING ON.
OUR MAIN STORY TONIGHT CONCERNS
NUCLEAR WASTE.
THE WORST TYPE OF GARBAGE FOR
RACCOONS TO GET INTO.
IT'S A SUBSTANCE WE ALL KNOW IS
DANGEROUS, THANKS TO MOVIES LIKE
THIS:
>> THEY TORMENTED HIM UNTIL HE
HAD A HORRIFYING ACCIDENT AND
FELL INTO A VAT OF NUCLEAR
WASTE.
MELVIN BECAME THE TOXIC AVENGER!
THE FIRST SUPERHERO BORN OUT OF
NUCLEAR WASTE.
HIS FACE IS SO TERRIFYING, WE
CAN'T SHOW IT TO YOU NOW.
YOU'LL HAVE TO SEE THE MOVIE FOR
YOURSELF.
>> John: YOU REALLY DON'T NEED
TO SEE THE MOVIE, BECAUSE HIS
FACE ISN'T THAT TERRIFYING.
THIS IS IT.
IT'S SO UGLY, IT'S ALMOST CUTE
AGAIN.
IT'S LIKE SOMEONE MELTED A
CANDLE SHAPED LIKE A PUG.
THE POINT IS, NUCLEAR WASTE, THE
RADIOACTIVE AND TOXIC BYPRODUCTS
FROM MAKING NUCLEAR ENERGY AND
WEAPONS, IS A SERIOUS HEALTH
HAZARD.
AND AMERICA HAS A LOT OF IT.
>> Reporter: THERE ARE MORE THAN
71,000 TONS OF NUCLEAR WASTE
STRANDED AT THE NATION'S 104
REACTORS.
PUT ALL THOSE SPENT FUEL RODS
TOGETHER AND YOU GET A PILE AS
BIG AS A FOOTBALL FIELD AND MORE
THAN TWENTY FEET TALL.
>> John: OR YOU COULD PUT THEM
IN A PILE AS BIG AS TWO FOOTBALL
FIELDS AND TEN FEET TALL, OR
HALF A FOOTBALL FIELD AND FORTY
FEET TALL, OR TWENTY FOOTBALL
FIELDS ONE FOOT TALL.
THE POINT IS, WE HAVE A LOT OF
NUCLEAR WASTE AND IT IS VERY FUN
TO PLAY WITH.
AND THAT'S JUST THE WASTE FROM
NUCLEAR ENERGY.
WE ALSO HAVE MORE THAN 100
MILLION GALLONS OF HAZARDOUS
LIQUID WASTE FROM PRODUCING
WEAPONS.
AND YOU MAY LIVE CLOSER TO
NUCLEAR WASTE THAN YOU THINK.
ONE OUT OF THREE AMERICANS LIVE
WITHIN 50 MILES OF HIGH-LEVEL
NUCLEAR WASTE.
SOME OF WHICH, LIKE PLUTONIUM,
IS LETHALLY DANGEROUS, AND WILL
BE AROUND FOR AN INCREDIBLY LONG
TIME.
>> EVEN MICROSCOPIC AMOUNTS OF
PLUTONIUM, IF INGESTED, ARE
DEADLY.
>> Casey Gadbury: ONE OF THE
CHARACTERISTICS OF IT IS IT HAS
AN EXTREMELY LONG HALF-LIFE.
PLUTONIUM 239 FOR EXAMPLE HAS A
HALF-LIFE OF ABOUT TWENTY-FOUR
THOUSAND YEARS.
>> John: YEAH, 24,000 YEARS.
AND THAT JUST SCRATCHES THE
SURFACE.
IT TAKES TEN HALF-LIVES FOR
PLUTONIUM TO BECOME HARMLESS.
SO 240,000 YEARS.
A UNIT OF TIME MORE COMMONLY
KNOWN AS ONE "ENGLISH PATIENT."
AND AS ANY ADULT WITH AN
AMERICAN GIRL DOLL COLLECTION
EVENTUALLY FINDS OUT, IF YOU
WANT TO KEEP SOMETHING AROUND
FOR A DISTURBINGLY LONG TIME,
YOU'VE GOT TO FIND AN
APPROPRIATE PLACE TO PUT IT.
"I CAN'T LIVE WITH YOUR MURDER
DOLLS ANYMORE!
FELICITY STARES AT ME WHILE I
SLEEP!"
SHE STARES AT ME!
SHE STARES, UNBLINKING!"
AND LOOK, I'M NOT THE FIRST
PERSON TO MAKE THIS POINT.
LOOK AT THIS NEWS REPORT FROM
1990.
>> Reporter: ALMOST HALF A
CENTURY AFTER NUCLEAR POWER WAS
HARNESSED, THERE STILL IS NO
AGREEMENT ON WHERE TO STORE THE
WASTE.
WE HAVE BUILT THE HOUSE, SAID
ONE CRITIC, AND FORGOTTEN THE
TOILETS.
>> John: A HOME WITH NO TOILETS,
OR AS A REALTOR SELLING A
BROOKLYN LOFT IS CALLING IT
RIGHT NOW, "ARTISANAL
COMPOSTING."
"YOU'RE SUGGESTING I SHIT IN
THAT POTTED PLANT, AND YOU AND I
BOTH KNOW THAT I'LL DO IT,
BECAUSE THIS IS CONVENIENT TO
PUBLIC TRANSIT, AND IT HAS BOTH
NORTHERN AND EASTERN EXPOSURES."
WELL, IT'S BEEN 27 YEARS SINCE
THAT CLIP AND OUR COUNTRY STILL
DOESN'T HAVE A NUCLEAR TOILET.
AND THAT'S OUR SUBJECT TONIGHT:
WHY DO WE NOT HAVE A NUCLEAR
TOILET?
AND IT'S ACTUALLY EASY TO
UNDERSTAND HOW WE GOT INTO THIS
SITUATION: DURING WORLD WAR TWO,
WE RUSHED TO DEVELOP NUCLEAR
WEAPONS, BECAUSE WE WERE TRYING
TO DEFEAT THE NAZIS, WHO -- FUN
FACT -- PRETTY MUCH ALL
AMERICANS AGREED WERE BAD AT THE
TIME.
THE THING IS, WE DIDN'T REALLY
HAVE A PLAN FOR WHAT TO DO WITH
ALL THE RADIOACTIVE BYPRODUCTS
THAT WE PRODUCED.
AND THIS INITIALLY LED US TO
SOME MINDBLOWINGLY STUPID
SOLUTIONS.
FOR INSTANCE, FOR YEARS, WE
ACTUALLY DID THIS:
>> Jerry Whalen: THEY LOADED
THE RADIOACTIVE WASTE AND IT WAS
IN BARRELS, 55 GALLON BARRELS OF
RADIOACTIVE WASTE WITH CONCRETE
POURED OVER IT.
>> Robert Birsic: IT'S FUNNY,
THE OCEAN DON'T GLOW OUT THERE
OUTSIDE OF RED BANK, NEW JERSEY.
REALLY 'CAUSE WE DUMPED A LOT OF
BARRELS OUT THERE.
>> John: IT'S TRUE: WE DIDN'T
JUST DUMP BARRELS OF RADIOACTIVE
WASTE IN THE OCEAN, WE DID IT
OFF THE COAST OF NEW JERSEY.
THAT'S SO HORRIFYING, I'M
SURPRISED "JERSEY SHORE" WAS THE
TITLE OF A LIGHTHEARTED MTV
SERIES AND NOT THE NAME OF A
HARROWING DOCUMENTARY.
"AN ENTIRE GENERATION OF
CHILDREN WAS BORN WITHOUT
THUMBS, A PHENOMENON KNOWN TO
LOCALS AS...THE SITUATION."
AND INCIDENTALLY: NOT ALL OF
THOSE BARRELS SANK.
IN FACT, IN 1957, WHEN TWO
BARRELS WERE CAUGHT FLOATING OFF
THE SHORE, NAVAL AIRCRAFT WERE
SUMMONED TO STRAFE THEM WITH
MACHINE-GUN FIRE UNTIL THEY
SANK.
THAT'S RIGHT.
THEY SHOT BARRELS FULL OF
NUCLEAR WASTE WITH MACHINE GUNS.
THAT'S GOT TO BE ONE OF THE MOST
TERRIFYING SENTENCES EVER SAID
OUT LOUD, RIGHT AFTER
"DONALD TRUMP IS THE PRESIDENT
NOW" AND "WAIT, WASN'T FELICITY
ON A DIFFERENT SHELF WHEN WE
WENT TO BED LAST NIGHT?"
FELICITY IS A WAKING NIGHTMARE.
ALTHOUGH TOSSING BARRELFULS OF
NUCLEAR WASTE INTO THE OCEAN AND
SHOOTING THEM WITH MACHINE GUNS
IS ACTUALLY PREFERABLE TO AT
LEAST ONE OTHER IDEA THAT WAS
THANKFULLY REJECTED:
BLASTING IT INTO SPACE.
A CONCEPT WITH A PRETTY CLEAR
FLAW:
>> Allison MacFarlane:
UNFORTUNATELY, WE DON'T HAVE A
GREAT RECORD WITH GETTING
ROCKETS OUT INTO THE ATMOSPHERE.
IF ANY ONE OF THEM BLEW UP, THAT
WOULD BASICALLY CONTAMINATE A
LARGE PORTION OF THE EARTH
WITH-WITH RADIOACTIVE MATERIAL,
SO THAT'S PROBABLY NOT A GREAT
IDEA.
>> John: YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT'S PROBABLY NOT A GREAT IDEA
A GREAT IDEA WOULD BE FILLING
THE ROCKETS UP WITH CONFETTI, SO
THAT WAY IF THERE'S A HORRIFIC
ACCIDENT, THERE'S ALSO A PARTY.
OVER THE YEARS, WE'VE DUMPED
NUCLEAR WASTE ALL OVER THE
COUNTRY, AND IN MANY PLACES,
THERE HAVE BEEN FRIGHTENING
LEAKS.
TAKE THE SAVANNAH RIVER SITE IN
SOUTH CAROLINA, WHERE WASTE FROM
POORLY STORED MATERIAL LEAKED
INTO THE GROUNDWATER.
AND JUST WATCH THIS ALARMINGLY
LAID-BACK MAN EXPLAIN THE
CONSEQUENCES OF THAT:
>> Tom Clements: THERE ARE
RADIOACTIVE ALLIGATORS ON THE
SITE.
RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS ARE IN THE
SEDIMENTS.
IT'S GONNA GO UP THE FOOD CHAIN
AND THERE'S GOING TO BE
RADIOACTIVE ALLIGATORS.
>> John: YEAH!
RADIOACTIVE ALLIGATORS!
THEY EVEN HAVE NAMES:
TRITAGATOR AND DIOXINATOR -
AFTER TWO OF THE WASTES THAT
POISONED THEM.
AND THAT'S VERY CLEVER.
BECAUSE IF I HAD TO GIVE THEM
NAMES, I'D HAVE PROBABLY GONE
WITH "AHHHHHHHH HOLY SHIT A
FUCKING RADIOACTIVE ALLIGATOR"
AND "OH NO, FUCK ME, THERE'S
ANOTHER ONE WHAT NIGHTMARE HATH
GOD WROUGHT?"
AND IT'S NOT JUST REPTILES
WHO'VE BEEN IMPACTED BY NUCLEAR
WASTE.
RESEARCHERS ARE NOW STUDYING AN
AREA IN NORTH ST. LOUIS COUNTY,
MISSOURI WHERE TONS OF WASTE
FROM THE MANHATTAN PROJECT WAS
IMPROPERLY STORED, SOME NEAR A
CREEK THAT WINDS THROUGH
RESIDENTIAL COMMUNITIES.
AND PEOPLE WHO LIVED THERE HAVE
NOTICED SOME ALARMING TRENDS.
>> I GOT ON FACEBOOK IN ORDER TO
RECONNECT WITH PEOPLE FROM HIGH
SCHOOL, AND WE STARTED NOTICING
THAT SO MANY OF US WERE SICK.
WE'VE DISCOVERED THAT THE
DEPARTMENT OF VETERANS AFFAIRS
OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZES AROUND 21
CANCERS ASSOCIATED WITH EXPOSURE
TO IONIZING RADIATION, AND
COMPARED THAT LIST TO WHAT WE
HAD.
WE HAD ALL THOSE CANCERS.
EVERY SINGLE ONE.
>> John: THAT IS AN INCREDIBLY
DEPRESSING THING TO DISCOVER ON
FACEBOOK.
AND IT'S HARD TO KNOW HOW TO
RESPOND.
I MEAN, YOU DEFINITELY DON'T
WANT TO USE THE 'LIKE' BUTTON,
BECAUSE THEN IT LOOKS LIKE YOU
REALLY 'LIKE' THE FACT THEY JUST
GOT CANCER.
NOW, THERE IS THAT NEW 'SAD'
EMOJI, WHICH WOULD BE PERFECT,
IF YOU HADN'T ALREADY CHEAPENED
IT BY USING TO RESPOND TO THE
NEWS THAT CHRIS PRATT AND ANNA
FARIS WERE SEPARATING.
I MEAN, IT'S SAD.
BUT IT'S NOT 21 CANCER SAD.
IT'S NINE CANCER SAD, TOPS.
THANKFULLY, SIXTY YEARS AGO, OUR
GOVERNMENT, AND THE SCIENTIFIC
CONSENSUS, CAME UP WITH A
SOLUTION.
IN 1957, THE NATIONAL ACADEMY OF
SCIENCES ISSUED A REPORT URGING
THE CREATION OF A PERMANENT
STORAGE FACILITY DEEP
UNDERGROUND.
BASICALLY, A NUCLEAR TOILET.
AND WHILE WE DID BUILD A
REPOSITORY FOR LOWER-LEVEL WASTE
IN NEW MEXICO, WE STILL HAVEN'T
BUILT ONE FOR THE MOST
DANGEROUS, HIGH-LEVEL WASTE.
AND AS A RESULT, IT'S
ESSENTIALLY BEEN LEFT WHEREVER
IT WAS MADE.
WHICH IS NOT GOOD, BECAUSE THOSE
FACILITIES WERE NOT BUILT WITH
THE IDEA THEY'D BE STORING
INDEFINITELY.
TO CONTINUE THE TOILET METAPHOR,
WE'VE BASICALLY BEEN SHITTING IN
BAGS, LEAVING THEM ALL OVER THE
HOUSE, AND PRAYING THEY DON'T
LEAK.
AND THE MOST FRIGHTENING EXAMPLE
OF THIS IS THE HANFORD SITE IN
WASHINGTON STATE, WHICH CREATED
TWO-THIRDS OF THE PLUTONIUM IN
THE U.S. ARSENAL, AND IS
CURRENTLY STORING 56 MILLION
GALLONS OF HIGHLY TOXIC AND
RADIOACTIVE WASTE UNDERGROUND.
AND OVER THE YEARS, THERE'VE
BEEN SO MANY ISSUES AT HANFORD
THAT THEY'VE ACHIEVED A DUBIOUS
HONOR, AS ONE LOCAL NEWS STATION
REPORTED WITH AN ALMOST PRIDEFUL
TONE:
>> THE MOST CONTAMINATED PLACE
IN THE ENTIRE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
ISN'T AT A POLLUTING FACTORY OR
OLD CHEMICAL PLANT, IT'S RIGHT
HERE IN WASHINGTON STATE.
>> John: RIGHT HERE!
WE DID IT, GUYS!
"WASHINGTON STATE: HOME TO THE
MOST CONTAMINATED PLACE IN THE
WESTERN HEMISPHERE, THOUSANDS OF
ACRES OF APPLE ORCHARDS, AND
SEVERAL OF TED BUNDY'S GRISLIEST
MURDERS."
THERE'VE BEEN A STRING OF
PROBLEMS AT HANFORD, FROM
EXPLOSIONS TO TOXIC VAPOR
RELEASES TO OVER A MILLION
GALLONS OF WASTE LEAKING OUT OF
THEIR TANKS OVER THE YEARS.
ITS BEEN SO BAD, THE GOVERNMENT
HAS HAD TO PAY OUT NEARLY ONE
AND A HALF BILLION DOLLARS IN
COMPENSATION TO THOUSANDS OF
WORKERS FOR ILLNESSES STEMMING
FROM EXPOSURE TO TOXINS THERE.
A LOCAL NEWS STATION HAS DONE A
SERIES OF REPORTS ON HANFORD,
AND AFTER A TUNNEL COLLAPSE IN
MAY, FOUND SOME OF THE
INFRASTRUCTURE THERE IS IN
ALMOST COMICALLY BAD SHAPE:
>> Reporter: MISTAKES DURING
CONSTRUCTION ARE FACTORS IN THE
DANGEROUS STATE OF THE TUNNELS.
THEY'RE 55 AND 60 YEARS OLD,
WELL BEYOND THEIR EXPECTED
LIFESPAN.
IN ADDITION, WOOD BEAMS HOLDING
UP THE TUNNELS ARE ERODING AND
WHAT CORRODES TIMBER BEAMS?
RADIATION.
YES, YOU CAN'T BUILD SOMETHING
OUT OF WOOD AND EXPECT IT TO
LAST FOREVER.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE LEARNED
THAT FROM THE SECOND-DUMBEST OF
THE THREE LITTLE PIGS.
HANFORD IS A GIGANTIC PROBLEM,
AND EVEN THOUGH IT HASN'T
PRODUCED ANYTHING FOR THIRTY
YEARS, THE DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY
STILL SPENDS NEARLY TWO AND A
HALF BILLION A YEAR ON CLEANING
IT UP, WHICH IS CLOSE TO
10 PERCENT OF ITS ANNUAL BUDGET.
AND IT'S PRETTY WEIRD TO FIND
OUT THAT A PLACE YOU JUST HEARD
ABOUT IS GETTING THAT MUCH OF
THE DOE'S MONEY.
IT'S LIKE FINDING OUT THAT HALF
THE DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE
BUDGET GOES TO THIS MOOSE NAMED
GORDON.
I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW THE RIGHT
AMOUNT.
BUT THAT SEEMS LIKE A LOT.
AND IN CASE YOU'RE THINKING,
"WELL, I'M GLAD I DON'T LIVE
NEAR HANFORD", REMEMBER: THERE
ARE NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS STORING
WASTE ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, LOTS
OF IT IN SO-CALLED "SPENT FUEL
POOLS", WHERE NUCLEAR FUEL RODS
ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TEMPORARILY
PLACED TO COOL DOWN, AND THEN
PUT IN DRY CONTAINERS AND MOVED
TO A PERMANENT UNDERGROUND
STORAGE SITE.
BUT REMEMBER: WE DON'T HAVE ONE
OF THOSE.
AND IN MANY PLACES, THOSE POOLS
ARE JUST ACCUMULATING MORE AND
MORE RODS.
AND WHILE EXPERTS SAY IT'S
HIGHLY UNLIKELY, IF A
FUKUSHIMA-LIKE ACCIDENT HAPPENS
AT ONE OF THOSE, THE RESULTS
COULD BE CATASTROPHIC.
>> THE NORTHEAST HAS A NUMBER OF
NUCLEAR POWER PLANTS, INCLUDING
THE INDIAN POINT PLANT JUST
OUTSIDE OF NEW YORK CITY.
IF ANY ONE OF THOSE WERE TO HAVE
A SEVERE SPENT FUEL POOL
ACCIDENT, YOU'RE TAKING AWAY A
LOT OF BIG CITIES, A LOT OF
FARMLANDS, A LOT OF THE UNITED
STATES FOR DECADES, PERHAPS
CENTURIES.
>> John: THAT'S RIGHT, LOTS OF
BIG CITIES.
NEW YORK, HARTFORD, BOSTON.
THAT LAST ONE IS A SHAME BECAUSE
AS I UNDERSTAND IT, THEY ONLY
JUST GOT UNRACIST YESTERDAY.
SO IT'S PRETTY CLEAR: WE NEED TO
FIND A PERMANENT FACILITY TO
STORE OUR MOST DANGEROUS WASTE.
AND 30 YEARS AGO, WE ACTUALLY
SETTLED ON A SITE: YUCCA
MOUNTAIN, IN NEVADA.
CONGRESS PASSED A LAW
DESIGNATING IT AS OUR SOLE
CANDIDATE FOR WASTE STORAGE.
SINCE THEN, WE SPENT $15 BILLION
PREPPING THE SITE, AS YOU CAN
SEE FROM THIS UPBEAT VIDEO:
♪ ♪
>> Narrator: LOCATED ABOUT 100
MILES NORTHWEST OF LAS VEGAS,
YUCCA MOUNTAIN IS THE MOST
THOROUGHLY-RESEARCHED SITE OF
ITS KIND IN THE WORLD.
EXPERTS THROUGHOUT THE WORLD
AGREE THAT THE MOST FEASIBLE AND
SAFE METHOD FOR DISPOSING OF
HIGHLY RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS IS
TO STORE THEM DEEP UNDERGROUND.
>> John: THAT'S RIGHT, THE BEST
PLACE TO PUT NUCLEAR WASTE IS IN
A HOLE DEEP UNDERGROUND, MUCH
LIKE FELICITY.
WAIT, IF SHE'S NOT IN THERE,
WHERE IS SHE?
[SCREAMS]
SO, YUCCA MOUNTAIN IS OUR
PERMANENT STORAGE SITE.
PROBLEM SOLVED, RIGHT?
WELL, NO.
BECAUSE WHILE THE SITE HAS BEEN
RULED SAFE, AND THE PEOPLE IN
THE IMMEDIATE AREA, NYE COUNTY,
ACTUALLY SUPPORT THE PROJECT,
MANY NEVADANS ELSEWHERE IN THE
STATE REALLY DON'T WANT IT.
AND THEIR FORMER SENATOR,
HARRY REID, LOBBIED HARD,
EVENTUALLY MANAGING TO GET YUCCA
SHUT DOWN.
HE DID HAVE AN ALTERNATIVE PLAN
FOR ALL THE STATES SITTING ON
THEIR NUCLEAR WASTE, BUT TO PUT
IT MILDLY, IT WAS NOT
SCIENTIFICALLY SOUND.
>> Reid: LEAVE IT ON SITE, WHERE
IT IS.
LEAVE IT WHERE IT IS IN DRY CASK
STORAGE CONTAINERS.
IF YOU WERE SMART, WHAT YOU
WOULD DO IS LEAVE THE THING
WHERE IT IS.
>> John: IF YOU'RE SMART, WHAT
YOU WOULD DO IS LEAVE THE THING
WHERE IT IS" IS TERRIBLE ADVICE
FOR DEALING WITH NUCLEAR WASTE
ALTHOUGH, IT IS, COINCIDENTALLY,
THE TITLE OF BRITAIN'S
BEST-SELLING BOOK ON PARENTING.
BUT HERE'S THE TRUTH: THE
SCIENTIFIC CONSENSUS FOR DECADES
HAS BEEN THAT LEAVING IT WHERE
IT IS, IS A TERRIBLE IDEA.
THE SHUTTERED POWER PLANT AT
SAN ONOFRE IN CALIFORNIA IS
STORING NUCLEAR WASTE, AND IT'S
ON A FAULT LINE, RIGHT NEXT TO
THE OCEAN.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING YOU
LEARN IN THE FIRST SCENE OF A
MOVIE STARRING THE ROCK THAT YOU
WATCH ON A PLANE.
AND LOOK: MAYBE YUCCA IS THE
BEST PLACE TO STORE OUR GROWING
SUPPLY OF RADIOACTIVE GARBAGE,
AND MAYBE IT'S NOT.
I'M NOT A NUCLEAR SCIENTIST.
AND OUR NEW THE FACE OF ONE.
ENERGY SECRETARY,
RICK PERRY, HAS SAID HE'S
OPTIMISTIC ABOUT FIXING THE
PROBLEM.
WHICH SOUNDS GREAT.
ALTHOUGH HE DIDN'T DO GREAT AT
DEALING WITH THIS DISASTER:
♪ ♪
>> John: THAT WAS HIM ON
"DANCING WITH THE STARS", AND ON
THE BASIS OF THAT, MANAGING
VOLATILE ENERGY IS NOT HIS
FORTE.
BUT WE'VE BEEN SAYING WE'RE
GOING TO FIX THIS FOR DECADES
NOW.
AND WE SEEM TO BE NO CLOSER TO A
SOLUTION.
AND LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING
THAT REALLY DROVE THAT FACT HOME
TO US:
BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN RESEARCHING
THIS STORY FOR A COUPLE OF
WEEKS.
AND JUST YESTERDAY AFTERNOON, WE
STUMBLED ON A TV SPECIAL FROM
1977, THE YEAR I WAS BORN:
♪ ♪
>> NBC NEWS PRESENTS: DANGER!
RADIOACTIVE WASTE!
>> YES, THIS PROBLEM IS SO OLD
THEY REPORTED ON IT BACK WHEN
THE NEWS WAS KEPT IN AN
AMERICA-SHAPED VAULT YOU OPENED
WITH A CRANK.
AND AS WE WATCHED IT YESTERDAY,
WE GRADUALLY- AND CHILLINGLY-
REALIZED: BY PURE COINCIDENCE,
IT HITS EVERY BEAT OF THE STORY
THAT WE JUST TOLD YOU.
IT OPENS WITH FOOTAGE OF SAILORS
THROWING BARRELS INTO THE OCEAN,
IT LOOKS AT THE FACILITIES AT
HANFORD, IT TALKS ABOUT
RADIATION'S IMPACT ON WORKERS,
AND ON FAMILIES WHO LIVE NEARBY.
AND WHILE IT DOESN'T HAVE A
RADIOACTIVE ALLIGATOR, IT DOES
HAVE RADIOACTIVE COWS.
WHICH IS GOOD, ALTHOUGH I
PREFERRED OUR ALLIGATOR.
I LIKED IT WHEN HE WENT:
[HISSES]
BUT THE MOST CHILLING MOMENT IN
THAT DOCUMENTARY MIGHT BE THE
ONE WHERE THEY SIT DOWN WITH
SOMEONE IN AUTHORITY AND DEMAND
TO KNOW WHEN THIS WILL BE FIXED.
>> Narrator: WHEN YOU ASK WHEN
THE PROBLEM WILL BE SOLVED, YOU
GET ANSWERS LIKE THIS:
>> Reporter: WHAT'S THE
REALISTIC TIMETABLE?
>> Frank Baranowski: REALISTIC
TIMETABLE IS SCHEDULED TO HAVE A
REPOSITORY IN OPERATION BY 1985,
WITH A SELECTION OF THE SITES BY
THE END 1978 FOR DETAILED WORK.
>> John: EXACTLY, NUCLEAR WASTE
IS A PROBLEM WE WERE SUPPOSED TO
HAVE DEALT WITH IN THE 1980S AND
STILL CAN'T SOLVE, MUCH LIKE
THIS RUBIK'S CUBE I ALWAYS CARRY
WITH ME.
YOU'RE MY JEAN VALJEAN, CUBE,
AND ONE DAY I SHALL DEFEAT YOU.
AND AT THE END OF THAT SPECIAL,
REMEMBER, FORTY YEARS AGO,
THE CORRESPONDENT DELIVERS THIS
SPECIAL MESSAGE:
>> Report: THE WASTE INCREASES
EVERY MINUTE.
THE SOLUTION OF WHERE TO PUT IT
IS YEARS AWAY, AND NONE OF THE
PREVIOUS SOLUTIONS HAS WORKED.
WE ARE ACCUSTOMED IN THIS
COUNTRY TO ACT ONLY IN TIMES OF
CRISIS.
BUT WITH NUCLEAR WASTE, WHEN THE
CRISIS COMES, IT WILL BE TOO
LATE.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, AND THAT WAS
FOUR DECADES AGO!
WE'VE ALREADY WAITED WAY TOO
LONG TO RESOLVE THIS ISSUE AND
WE ARE DANCING WITH TROUBLE
HERE.
SO IF ANYONE SAYS THE GOVERNMENT
CAN JUST CONTINUE TO WAIT, THEY
ARE, MUCH LIKE A HOUSE WITH NO
TOILET, FULL OF SHIT.
AND NOW, THIS.
>> AND NOW, SOME OF THE ACTUAL
RESPONSES FROM POTENTIAL JURORS
EXCUSED FROM THE MARTIN SHKRELI
TRIAL.
>> I'M AWARE OF THE DEFENDANT.
AND I HATE HIM.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
BY THE TIME I CAME IN AND SAT
DOWN AND HE TURNED AROUND, I
FELT IMMEDIATELY I WAS BIASED.
HE KIND OF LOOKS LIKE A.
WHEN I WALKED IN HERE TODAY, I
LOOKED AT HIM, AND IN MY HEAD,
THAT'S A SNAKE, NOT KNOWING WHO
HE WAS, I JUST WALKED IN AND
LOOKED RIGHT AT HIM, AND THAT'S
A SNAKE.
I THINK HE'S A GREEDY LITTLE MAN
YOU'D HAVE TO CONVINCE ME HE WAS
INNOCENT RATHER THAN GUILTY.
THE ONLY THING I'D BE IMPARTIAL
ABOUT IS WHAT PRISON THIS GUY
GOES TO.
IS HE STUPID OR GREEDY?
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND.
HE DISRESPECTED THE WU-TANG CLAN
>> WU-TANG CLAN ATE IT NOTHING
TO FUCK WITH.
>> John: THAT'S OUR SHOW, WILL
BE BACK SEPTEMBER 10TH.
THANKS FOR WATCHING, GOOD NIGHT!